"After 4 months of forgetting I had a blog, I finally agreed to have someone else blog for me this afternoon because the people who check my blog everyday, hoping for a glimpse and insight from me, deserve to have a split second of joy before being utterly disappointed when they find out I just had a friend from church blog for me. " - Helen's Mind
I just wanted to thank Helen for giving me the opportunity to blog for her. Everyday I think to myself, What could Helen could possibly be up to? Why does she not blog anymore? Is she really that busy? How does she get her hair so straight? So when I approached her with an idea of blogging for her, I was blown away when she responded that it might not be a terrible idea. So, for weeks I went back and forth on what to write about before finally settling on imparting some wisdom on how to tell your friends you have been dating for almost a year when you should have told them months ago but either forgot, didn't have the time, or you were insecure with the idea of telling your friends you were dating only to have to tell them weeks later you broke up; so you wanted to make sure the relationship at least lasted one month before telling anyone. But before I do that, if anyone doesn't know what Helen has been up to, let me fill everyone in:
- Helen almost quit teaching, bought a new dog named Buttercup (pug), bought a new car, spent multiple occasions at all-you-can eat Korean BBQ, pierced her ear cartilage, got a fake tattoo of a rabbit to celebrate Chinese New Year, gave up going to the clubs for 6 months, moved to a new house that she bought with her own money saved up from childhood, bought a new dress, took lots of pictures that she didn't post on her blog, watched a basketball game and asked the question, "Why does everyone run away from the basket every time they make a shot?," took a roadtrip to Seattle with her new dog, Buttercup, and got lost halfway there (Oregon), made a chocolate cake with cake mix, made one of her students cry when she yelled at him for throwing his cell phone at another girl halfway across the class, got a new purple coat for Christmas, ate a whole quart of Rocky Road ice cream all by herself one weekend, and sprained her ankle getting off the Dumbo ride at Disneyland.
Quite an eventful couple of months.
Anyway, so many people have been asking me, "Sexytay, how do I tell my friends we have been dating for a year when I am worried that telling them will ruin our friendship because I should have told them a long time ago?" After these 5 tips I am about to give, I am sure you will pick the right solution and be able to help educate yourself or your friends when put in these tough and stressful situations.
- Just break up. This is one option. It makes it easy because not only do you not have to tell about your secret one-year relationship, but if your boyfriend or girlfriend just isn't cutting it, then you can kill two birds with one stone. This is great for people who love to avoid confrontation or get scared about having to tell people things. The pressure of finding the perfect solution can create a situation where the best solution would just be to end it. And while that may be one of the most intelligent things you have ever read, it is one way to keep friends and avoid having to come up with an excuse with why you didn't tell them. Sidenote: Good excuses include: "What? I did tell you; What are you talking about?" ... "I wanted to tell you, but my boyfriend told me it would be more fun if we didn't tell anyone to gauge everyone's reactions. I am soooo sorry" ... "Well, maybe if you went on AOL IM more, I could have told you. Where have you been?" (which might not make sense, but it diverts the attention away from why you didn't tell them and so you are in the clear to tell them everything without fear of being friend rejected.
- Tell your friend to "guest blog" on the topic of how to tell people you are in a relationship when you should have told them a long time ago. Just kidding; that is ridiculous.
- Do not go official on Facebook - This is the ultimate no-no. Do not let your friends find out on Facebook when you go into relationship status. The way to do it is get one of your good friends to post on your wall, "You and Leroy were so cute on Saturday night!!!" Then, when your friend finds out while Facebook stalking you, there is a mutual insecurity of "I don't want her or him to know I was Facebook stalking them" and "I can't believe I didn't tell this person." Make sure the person posting on your wall uses at least 3 exclamation marks in order for the stalker to realize that they really mean it when they say you were cute on Saturday night. Then, when you get called out for it, you can just say you are still pretty shy about your new relationship and already got mad at Clarissa for posting that because you are a private person. Then you can confide in that friend so they feel special. Crisis averted.
- Send out a prayer email to your best girlfriends about how you need prayer for your relationship. This one is tricky because you can't do it just to tell people about your new relationship and have your prayer requests be fake, but at the same time, this is a great opportunity to add the people you have wanted to tell but couldn't find the chance to, while still being genuine and sincere. It is important to apologize for being so hard to reach lately and "for being a bad friend." Make sure you write how "embarrassed" you are that so many people don't know you were even in a relationship. While it may sting to be one of the last ones to know, knowing you get the privilege to pray for that person overwhelms any negative feelings, and they are reassured that they are a special friend.
- Get married. What is a better way to avoid telling people you are dating than to get married and just invite them to the wedding? You can just be like, "Surprise!!" The only thing worse than not being told about your being in the relationship is not to be invited to the wedding, because once you don't get invited to the wedding, the friendship is officially over.
